Filed under: Uncategorized
So we were supposed to get a whole load of takoyaki today for lunch, and then I get fried rice under the pretense that “takoyaki didn’t seem like a decent lunch”? What the hell is that?
I ask for cake and I get delivered shit.
Filed under: Comics
Comics are great, were you aware of this? There are a few choice titles you should be reading right now also if you aren’t, they are, (in no particular order)
Captain America:
It’s often said of celebrities that “dying was the best thing they could have done for their career”, and such is the case with Cap. Cap’s “I believe in Truth, justice and various other nouns” -image hasn’t done well under the Bush administration. Marvel have tried to move with that and went all black ops for a time. Civil War didn’t do as much for Cap as it could have done, I thought at first it was an attempt to big up the consummate good guy Steve Rogers at the expense of my boy Tony Stark. It didn’t pan out that way however and now Stevie is stone dead. It’s also said of the comic world that “no one is dead in comics save Uncle Ben and Bucky”. Now it seems Uncle Ben is flying that flag alone (save in alternate universes and realities he’ll crop up in, he is generally seen as not alive) as Bucky Barnes is back in action, having been promoted to the rank of Captain and taken Rogers’ place. The former Winter Soldier (I never even knew we were calling him that) now being written by the awesome Ed Brubaker makes a much more flawed, and altogether human (bar the robot arm – which isn’t as ludicrous as it sounds) Cap and have given Marvel the opportunity to create a less idealistic, pH neutral poster boy.
Of course, this could all be ruined by Marvel bringing back Steve in some way rather than leaving him dead and buried. My theory: A year or so and a couple of crossovers and our favorite Aryan will be back in at the thick end. The impending skrull invasion could well see some kind of alien techno-trickery reanimating him as they’re wont to do …. those cheeky skrulls.
The Twelve:
Yay for old super hero’s that didn’t work around first time! You know why they’re interesting? Because you can do what the fuck you want with them. So the best thing you can possibly do is give a whole load of them to JMS and set him loose. JMS is hot right now, hell, he’s always been hot. I loved his rehashing of the “Squadron Supreme” (The Justice league rip-offs) in his short series titled “Supreme Power” that ran in the Marvel Max line a few years ago, and this latest effort filled with forgotten and unsuccessful characters is no exception – characters that no one cares about can be screwed with and killed without mercy, which in many ways makes them superior to the likes of people who are always going to survive or die and come back to life. Does anyone believe Professor X is dead? No, of course you don’t, a guy like Charles doesn’t just get gunned down in the street by someone who doesn’t even HAVE his own comic these days not to come back to life a few months down the line. Props to marvel for actually bothering to use heroes they had already created years ago also, gives it an authentic historical feel.
DC’s Final Crisis:
One does wonder how truly final it may, but It does have to be said that whenever DC pull out the stops on a huge crossover, they really do pull out all the stops. Unlike Marvel, they haven’t fallen victim to overdoing it either, it seems Marvel has always got a huge cross over in action, increasingly since “Avengers Disassembled” a few years back, and with “Messiah complex” and “World War Hulk” barely finished and “Civil War” still ringing in our ears they’re pushing “Secret Invasion” a hell of a lot already. As a result it seems like the impact of these events is watered down as opposed to DC who keep it business as normal and paint the town red when they do have these huge storyline altering events. We are now 8 weeks away from the culmination of the 51 week “Countdown to Final Crisis”, which has become a little convoluted to say the least, but I have faith that the real thing will impress no end. The teaser poster suggests that they may end a few of the big names. Not that they need to do that to make it a great book. Identity crisis was great and all they did was kill off Sue “wife of elongated man” Dibny. Final Crisis is to be written by Grant Morrison who still very much has the aura of the midas touch.
Deadpool:
Shameless plug, I have always loved Deadpool as a character. Cable and Deadpool just finished their 50 issue run together scripted entirely by Fabian Nicieza (although Cable pretty much dropped out months back) and are both starting up their long overdue to solo adventures. Cable 1 has just been released and Deadpool is due to come out in Summer 2008. You should read that.
Anyhow, I’ve scratched my itch for talking about comics for the moment. Begin the reading!
Being not Japanese, I am used to being surrounded by talk I don’t understand. The fact that I have progressed a lot in the fundamentals of the language is largely irrelevant – I am still no native, and suddenly piping up in conversation occasionally feels like I’m breaking some kind of social norm often inviting an odd and eerie quiet. Also when suddenly required to speak English fluently (e.g. to another English speaker) the impression on the surrounding people is one of odd bewitchment, as if perhaps a deaf coma patient had just suddenly become completely lucid. The assumption that someone not speaking your language being largely inept is a forgivable evil, in ones native country when confronted by someone who is not fluent in the native language one could be tempted to think them dull of wit, when in fact it is clearly far from the case.
The lack of nativeness has various side effects on the person, they are as follows:
“Do not approach” syndrome:
The most common side effect. The subject is a different color, not a member of the largely homo-genus population and therefore will not be able to communicate effectively in the native tongue without the aid of English input (only available in extreme cases).
Advice: Under no circumstances engage with the subject, it will cause them embarrassment for not speaking Japanese and you similar embarrassment for lack of English. If engaged in conversation by the subject, smile and laugh as much as possible. Should the subject attempt Japanese, compliment them as much as you can in a sentence whilst smiling and bowing. Escape through the nearest available exit.
“Help as much as you can” syndrome:
About 1 in 10 people suffer from this, more often it comes with age or is a symptom of elementary English ability. When encountering the subject, speaks to them as much as possible using as much English as they can. Sufferer is not concerned with the overall clarity of the English, it is merely important that it is used to make the foreigner feel comfortable. Has a tendency to switch between languages mid sentence (often multiple times)
Advice: Speaking Japanese to a foreigner is racist. You must never do it. Nor must you leave them alone for more than 10 minutes without speaking to them; this is also racist. If you do not have full command of English just speak in Japanese and use English words where you can. If the situation calls for it, go really close to the subjects face and repeat the words they didn’t understand in a loud voice several times. Key words to remember: “Japanese”, “many” and “Thank you”.
“Speak when they aren’t listening” syndrome
Sufferer will tend to wait until foreigner is out of earshot or is unable to hear. Will say something at an opportune moment and then shrug it off when it goes unanswered. The danger to these people comes when a bystander then alerts the foreigner to the presence of the sufferer then forcing interaction.
Advice: Ensure that the room is as noisy as possible and the foreigners back is turned before engaging in conversation. Call softly twice and then wait until they leave the area, after which you should leave a note (in Japanese) on their desk. Do not sign your name.
“Inability to ascertain the existance of a foreigner” syndrome:
The most severe disorder when it comes to the presence of foreigners. Sufferer is in no way able to acknowledge the existance of a non-native. In cases where communication is required, the sufferer will speak in a puzzled manner to someone who may be able to better handle the matter. When engaged by the subject the sufferer will often gaze around the room unnerved and begin to talk of poltergeists.
Advice: Continue life as normal, keep within shouting distance of an English speaker at all times should a medium be required to commune with the spirits. Any attempt to reach the spirits without proper spiritual firewalls may result in theft of soul.
Touching base syndrome:
Sufferer specifically learns routine English with no possible leads to further conversation. Will ensure to engage the subject at earliest possible convenience to exchange pleasantries in English with possible follow ons into Japanese. With this achieved the sufferer will be able to continue with their day as normal anticipating no further interaction.
Advice: Learn a few appropriate and neutral responses should the conversation spiral out of control into matters in which reasoned responses are required. Often used suggestions are “Oh really?”, “I see” and “Aha”. In the rare case that these do not satisfy the subject one may say “Is that Yvonna Trump?” in an uncertain voice whilst pointing behind the foreigner, after which departure is allowed.
Foreigner is God syndrome:
Sufferer believes subjects ability to speak English is in fact due to divine intervention
Advice: Bounce up to the subject every day and praise their ability to speak their native language. Criticise yourself as much as possible and wave off any compliments you may receive about anything, the foreigner is only being unnecessarily polite.
Can speak English and wants everyone to know it – syndrome
Sufferer engages subject at every possible instance with moderate to advanced English skills. Uses unnecessarily complex words and sentence structures. Will talk about literally anything.
Advice: Bring items from home, irregardless of how interesting they may be so that you can show them to the foreigner and engage in natural conversation. Whenever the foreigner says something to you translate it in a loud voice to the surrounding people to ensure that they are listening.
Foreigner speaks Japanese as well as I do – syndrome:
Sufferer is under the impression that the foreigner is in Japan and must therefore be 100% fluent in the art of Japanese conversation, will engage subject at will across any topic and speak as fast as possible. The sufferer will tend not to be stopped by the subjects potential incomprehension.
Advice: Speak fast, don’t use gestures and remove emotion from your voice. The foreigner is perfectly capable of filling in any blanks without need for explanation. In fact they are so fluent, it is probably best that you try and catch them off guard with sudden conversation so that they may have some form of challenge. Do not check their understanding, they know all.
Perfectly normal person syndrome:
An extremely rare disorder. The sufferer believe the foreigner to be a perfectly normal person with at least some Japanese ability. Engages Foreigner at leisure and tries to tailor conversation to the subjects level. Praises when necessary, doesn’t flatter mediocrity.
Advice: Keep doing what you’re doing, it is exactly what the subject wants. They would like to talk to you and appreciates appropriate praise, cares not for unnecessary flattery and would appreciate the chance to learn something from you.
Does anyone else find this hilarious for all the wrong reasons? It makes the White House look a bit like the Batcave. Aside from that, why is she fully dressed and in make up at 3am? Perhaps someone who didn’t prioritize getting dressed and putting on make-up at 3am would be in a better position to anwer the “Somethings happening in the world – phone” in a timely manner.
I almost feel kind of sorry for Hilary now. It’s getting a little embarassing to watch.
So my facebook account got phished, To the useless end of telling unsuspecting facebook members that they should download ringtones from the website I use.
Of course now I am receiving no end of messages from people helpfully informing me of this (about half my facebook friends list got pm’d before the facebook security feature shut it down). It’s times like this that you realise who the more savvy of your friends are, most people reply with warranted sarcasm or a simple pointing out of the fact that you have been hacked but you do get some people who go with things like:
“No ads to my facebook please”
“But I didn’t ask you anything”
“Long time no see, I’ll check it out. Thanks!”
The latter message dishearteningly disproving my theory that these people who phish for ID’s are wasting their time as no one will buy such a ludicrous scam. At least it was almost worth the privacy intrusion just to read some of these responses.
However it is shades of Myspace all over again. Seldom did a week go by without someone getting phished and me receiving hundreds of messages about ringtones or porn. Why are these the top two offenders? These strike me as commodities that one would never actually pay for as they are available in abundance for free to those who know how to search for them. But then I guess everything on the internet is free.
Ultimately, I am left with the conundrum of HOW they got my password. I haven’t used facebook since thursday to my knowledge, yet it suddenly gets hacked on Sunday night? Best guess is it either took them a few days to get around to it or I signed up for a ludicrous application at some point along the line and my details got passed on. It’s a lesson folks, and another notch on Facebooks bedpost of evil.
So thanks to Batfield for reccomending “The Wire”, it really is a great show that you should check out. I’ve never really cared for Cop drama, certainly not in a gritty “street-cop” style anyway, like most people I enjoyed 24 a lot, but it’s hardly run of the mill police drama. Also it’s in Baltimore. I don’t know anything about Baltimore. I was happy it was somewhere that I knew nothing about, I’m bored of the only three places in America being New York, Los Angeles and Chicago (with occaisional cutaways to Washington DC for good measure). In summation: Watch “The Wire”, great characters of which none are instantly likable but eventually almost all of them win you over, even the bad guys for some reason. It will also make you want to go out and solve crime.
So this weekend I’ve been running about dealing with wedding stuff again, it’s an understandably reoccuring theme. The wedding is only 3 weeks away, and I’m not really worried, it seems the whole thing is (more or less) in hand, I have to figure a way to transport masses of stinking gaijin from one place to another but I’m sure it’ll work out somehow. The problem with me is I am something of a hinderance when it comes to meeting with wedding related people. Specifically people who take my money for services, especially when I am unsure of why we have this service. I have systematically been angry with almost every single person we have dealt with because I have trust issues with the wedding industry. People seem to really want to make you pay for what they bill as the happiest day of your life.
Here is a fine example of what I am talking about. I have a friend called Domonic, he works in the wedding industry for a ludicrous amount of money (he can get around £200+ for 4 hours work) his talents lie in the fact that he is:
a) White
b) Has a spousal work visa.
c) He can, on cue, say “Stand up” and “Sit down”
End.
Now, he is a lovely chap and I would do the same if I were offered the job, however, I am not in the habit of giving a great deal of trust to an industry in which I will have to pay £200 a pop for a token ethnic minority. Bottom line, whenever anyone mentions any new “charge” even for very reasonable reasons I get my suspicious on. So far I have done this almost without amnesty to everyone including the nice elderly gift arranging man. But that is because the ludicrous amounts of things you are supposed to do vexes me, its bad for everyone.
Case in point:
お祝い金:
This is money to the tune of 30,000円 that guests give us. To celebrate. Personally I don’t dig the idea but hey, it seems to be a fixed cultural thing. I did make it clear that its ludicrous to expect anyone crossing the atlantic to get here to pay for our wedding. It is. Everyone agrees. Weirder still, from that 30,000 about 15 goes to pay the meal fee, the rest is a donation towards the hiring of the place and also 5 of it is towards a gift that we buy and give to them. Why do that? Why take money, buy something someone doesn’t need and then give it back to them? Why not just not take the money in the first place? They keep their money, we don’t have to arrange gifts and all is well in the world. It’s kind of typical of the Japanese penchanté for standing on ceremony. If there is a ceremony, they will stand on it and say:
“Look at me standing on this goddam ceremony. I am completely standing on this right here. 180° baby! Booya!”
Other things I don’t understand:
1) Puchi gift: Random pack of sweets you give to the people on the way out. I know of no reason why we do this.
2) Ring pillow. The boxes rings come in are unsatisfactory, the rings require a pillow for some reason.
３）Large gifts for parents. Hell, they already got married right? Why are we giving gifts to them?
I say all this like I’m angry, truth is I’m not. Just the need for everything in Japan to be so “by the book” is something I don’t really understand and coming from a Western background where sales people are constantly trying to sell you crap you don’t need, I find trust with sales people an issue. It has become very clear to me however that these people are to be trusted (the ones we’re using anyway), they genuinely enjoy their jobs and try to help out where they can and more often than not I’ve come out of every establishment feeling like an ass for going in with a “don’t you be trying to screw a nigga bitch” -face on.
In other news the new Iron man trailer
This is going to be the best movie ever. There won’t be any further debate on this.
I shit you not.
The winner of the “Best Anything Ever” contest went to today’s episode of Lost. Seriously, I was shaking, physically shaking towards the end of that. If you haven’t been keeping up with Lost, or you ducked out in Season 3, shame on you, you have robbed yourself of being able to watch TV at it’s finest on this day. All you can do is catch up and watch as soon as possible.
Also handy advice for anyone getting into quantum mechanics and time warps, always make sure you have your constant ready to hand in case of emergencies. 2008 could well be the greatest TV year ever just because of this episode. Kudos to you writing team of Lost.
